Thursday, 12 September 2013

The Anti Designer Handbag Revolution

It's time for an Anti Designer Handbag Revolution, I say!

Just this past week, there have been 3 snatch thefts. First a friend's friend engrossed in a Mee Siam at a local food stall, then a colleague whose car side-mirror was smashed into, to yank her Coach bag out. And then the last straw was my neighbour's Miu Miu at the red light on a busy street.

That's it! I'm done with the quest for a new designer-labeled, statement-making handbag. I am fine with my old Poloz... Benettini...Vinzi whatever-it-is! It's one of those bags nobody looks at or aspires to have after a bonus payout. It's a squishy-squashy black canvassy-beanbag-lookalike with more zips than compartments. No brand you'd want to hear about. The icing on that cake would be the unsightly navy-blue handle which conveniently slides on and off your shoulder with a single yank. The bag does does fine whether I swing it over my shoulder, carry it daintily on the crease of my elbow or just grasp the handle like it were a tiny briefcase. The basis of my love for it is that I know it is the least sightly among its counterparts in any female social setting. The Old Frump's the underdog!

My girlfriends often hint to me that some sale is on , in the hope that I'd scurry over to buy a Prada or a Miu Miu or any other high browed brand. And sometimes, I want to hold what they hold, to feel the priceless caress of Italian leather. But wait - I think Chien's bag is China-made like many bags out there that masquerade as Italian made masterpieces!

I believe it is time for the anti-designer handbag revolution. It is not just because I am resisting the temptation to buy and own excruciatingly high priced goods on a sadly average income. Well I AM! But that is not the only driver here. ~hmmmpf~ I believe that if we all decide to lay off expensive-looking bags, in Malaysia, that could be a life-saver! No more snatch theft worry! I know some of you must be amused or bemused reading that. But those of you who've been through the agony of a smashed side-window, a break-in or a mugging will quickly agree with me - even if you do so with discreet silence, in accordance with social decorum and in the interest of false reverence for the uppity designer brand. 

I would love to also imagine that a drop in demand for designer bags could lower the price, indirectly affording me and all my average-income buddies one. And in an ideal world, no victims of cheap labour or child, would have suffered the brunt of price drops. Instead, it would be the result of efficient supply-chains and moderated capitalism. And if everyone starts carrying a cheap designer bag, then I'd like to argue that thieves wouldn't benefit from snatch theft anymore, huh? A little reductionist my theory is, I know. But hey, as I mentioned at the start of the para, "I would love to imagine". Besides, if a widespread revolution like this has never been sparked in my neck of the woods, should we be quick to dismiss it?

I admit, in any case, I cannot do completely without a bag of sorts, even  if it means hauling my Old Frump. I do know however, that though I am not guaranteed complete safety against snatch theft, that at least she looks like the weakest horse in the race, that no one would want to bet on. Meanwhile, the labyrinth of zippers creates an additional repulsion for the thief which I would not earn even at the highest of designer handbag prices! With security systems like that, who'd want a designer bag?! :-D

Hence begins my trial period of the Anti Designer Handbag Revolution. And now I pray. That I may successfully resist the temptation.

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