Sunday, 31 January 2010

A Tiger's Wisdom

So, it's the year of the Tiger. Finally. My year.

Yesterday, I visited a Feng Shui store in Mega Mall. I was all excited that after the usual 12 year rotation, it was finally my year, my moment, the Year of the Tiger! I wanted to read what consultants and advisers of other-worldy energies had to say about the year ahead.

I felt very proud that year after year of oxen, sheep, rooster and other animal totems and buntings finally led up to the inevitable strike of the clock when the Tiger would once more grace Feng Shui stores. There they were, majestic tiger totems and buntings.

I felt important and addressed, as one would when toasted to, in a party held in one's honour. I grinned and reached for a little yellow booklet that said something like "Forecast for Tiger Year 2010 - For the Tiger Sign". I was already leaping with joy inside, just waiting for the pages to unravel my sexy, exciting future. It was, afterall, the year of the Tiger and I, a Tiger-born woman, must surely have a lot to look forward to - in my own year at least.

I flipped through, starting with the general predicitons, and then to specific areas of life; career, marriage, family life, love, education, health. With each section, my spirits sank further and further; Apparently the year of the Tiger was nothing but tumultous to those born in it! I could bearly make half the tiny book without feeling like a wreck - it's criminal that this cascade of predictions were turning me inside out, especially since they were of course, blanket predictions for the Tiger-born and by no means accurate to every individual. In my head, all I could think about was that things were not to be good in the career arena, not good for love not for health, nothing! No areas of life held promise except for a meagre flicker of hope in money matters that said the "Female Tiger's finances would be bearable IF she married or; if already married, had a child"!

What ??!

So now, the book told me that my year would suck if I marry (because the year generally sucked for the Tiger) - but if I marry, finances will be bearable??! What kind of compromise is that?! And if I were already married, and it sucks (as the book promises), I should have a child to ensure finances are beareable?

What's wrong with this picture?
Who writes this stuff?
And who reads it, darn it?!

Looking around the store, I saw two scenes of notoriety; one, was the shared look of disdain on the faces of the readers of the 2010-prediciton books. The second was a scene further inside the store, of faces looking desparately at expensive totems, trinkets and charms to weather people through the impending crises of 2010. It was something like RM 1,500 for some of these items! I felt like I was standing at the precipice of being suckered into the business of propogating fear and faith in an unfounded science.

"Why am I contemplating totems over techniques to get through turbulences of life, if any are indeed being predicted accurately by a person I've never relied on before for the good things in my life? Bah! Humbug, all this!" , I thought.

"Thank God no one I knew was in the vicinity of the store, bearing witness to my near descent into foolery", I consoled myself. I took a step away from the tantalising pocket book shelf, sighing, "Phew, close one!"

The book was still in my hand, but I was (thankfully!), intrigued no more by its contents. So I stepped to the shelf and put it back but it slipped and fell off, face down. I bent down to pick it up, when I realised the page opened to the final 2010 prediction for the Tiger-born. Apparently, the book could not only tell you about the tangible, but also the intangible aspects of your life such as how you would think, feel, react and perhaps even, how you would most likely defrost your frozen peas this year.

I could not restrain my eyes from reading the words, "The tigress comes into great wisdom in 2010. This will lead her to achieve success in love, marriage, education and career. These in turn will improve her finances this year."

Excuse me, but if this isn't contradiction of a previous prediction, please tell me what is! How dare the Feng Shui advisers tell me that my year will be awful but awesome, painful but peachy all in one breath, and expect me to believe them without question. How dare they believe they could leave me with self doubt in quantities that would only lead me to find solace in expensive itmes from their Feng Shui store in Mega Mall?

Who writes these superstitions?! And more importantly, who reads this stuff? Who believes this nonsense, darn it?! Thank God, I'm too wise to buy into all this humbug!


Ok.... so at long last yesterday, I bought the darn book already - for a friend.

No, no, not for me. Of course not!

It's for a fellow Tiger-born. She's into all this mumbo-jumbo.

Not me. I just think it is not well-meaning to entice wide-eyed consumers into purchasing nonsensical items that supposedly ward off bad luck and usher in prosperity. The book's not on my shelf. Only hers.

Yeah, really.

And oh, I nearly forgot to say - Today I went back to the store and got myself... I mean, my friend, a tiger charm. For RM 19.90, apparently the great wisdom of the Tiger is sharpened. Cool, yes? Yeah, but as I said, this hum bug isn't for me.


It's for that fellow Tiger-born. She's into all this mumbo-jumbo, you see.

I for one, would never be fooled into believing in such humbug! Never. I wouldn't descend into buying totems and books written based on baseless conjecture! Who on earth believes this sort of thing? Only those with no wisdom, is my guess.

And after all, the book did say I have "great wisdom", didn't it?